My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. About two weeks ago, we decided to have sex. Everything was perfect, until I took off his pants! His penis is huge! I am a small woman, and sex has always been a little painful, but it hurt so much this time. What should I do? I definitely don't want to lose him because I can't handle him.
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Since you say that sex always hurts at least a little, it's likely that you're not producing enough below-the-belt lubrication. To play it safe, you might want to visit your gyno to rule out any medical problems, such as cysts or infections. But, there's a good chance that you just don't engage in foreplay long enough to become adequately aroused. Next time you and your guy are getting busy, take it slow. Have him lavish attention on all your hot spots, with plenty of genital touching and tongue teasing. And, make sure you apply some water-based lube to your vagina or his shaft right before he enters you.
That said, the reason you experienced such severe pain with your new man was probably plain old fear. It sounds like the eye-opening encounter of seeing his "huge" member for the first time freaked you out a bit. Anticipating discomfort causes your muscles — even your vaginal ones — to tense up, making penetration more difficult. So, in addition to extended foreplay and extra lube, it might also help if he gives you a long, sensual all-over massage before intercourse, which will turn you on and mellow you out.
When it comes to doing the deed, you'll have an easier time accommodating your man's large penis if you stick with positions that keep his thrusts shallow while sending you both into maximum overdrive. The woman-on-top pose is a good one to try because it lets you control the depth of penetration. Have him lie flat on his back and hover over him on your hands and knees while sliding him inside you. Move your hips in circular motions as you glide up and down, only going as deep as you can handle. Or, have him sit on a chair with no arms. Then simply straddle his lap, either facing toward him or away from him, and use your feet and thigh muscles to pump away.
You can also try the missionary, but remember that the more your pelvis is tilted, the deeper the penetration, so none of that feet-over-his-shoulders, pillows under your butt stuff. Also, the further apart your legs are, the further he can thrust, so keep your thighs together. Not only will it prevent him from plunging in too far, it can also make for some out-of-this-world clitoral/penile friction. And don't forget, lubrication can come and go. So, be sure to keep adding the slick stuff as needed.
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